It was such welcome news this week when a vote taken by a small portion of the student body took aim at the San Diego State University mascot.
The goal of the vote is to “finally” retire the university’s Aztec Warrior Mascot.
The images of the “Aztec Warrior” memorializing traditional Indian culture at sporting events and school functions, has been just too much to take these many years.
The move jostled my mind to think about all the other collegiate schools who have yet to understand the ramifications of their insensitive mascot caricatures.
In my view, and for the sake of political correctness, these 5 Mascots must immediately be removed:
USC TOMMY TROJAN
Forget offending Indians, Tommy Trojan is probably the most offensive mascot in the country.
We associate Trojan Warriors as some of the greatest in history.
Hector and his Army killed 31,000 Greek fighters in the defense of Troy.
And now, thanks to USC, we have this:
Disney is stoked, everyone else is deeply offended. Disrespectful across the board.
We’re also looking at you Michigan State and “Sparty.”
It’s time for USC to return to their original mascot:
NOTRE DAME FIGHTING IRISH
Every Irishman worth his salt is deeply offended by this yahoo.
Who fights like this? It’s not 1900 anymore.
Maybe Conor McGregor’s recent skills mirrored this pose, but still, there’s a lot more to the Irish culture than drinking beer and fighting, right???
Shame on you Notre Dame.
OKLAHOMA STATE PISTOL PETE
Really Oklahoma State??? Memorializing the great lawman, Frank Eaton, with the ridiculous, over-the-top “Pistol Pete.”
Cowboys stand for justice. Cowboys are tough and rugged. Cowboys are no-nonsense.
No one fears a 30-pound fiberglass head and bright orange hat.
Oklahoma State has shamed the great cowboy culture with Pistol freaking Pete.
WEST VIRGINIA MOUNTAINEER
I doubt this raccoon hat wearing, musket wielding “mountaineer” has ever scaled a mountain.
I doubt he’s crossed glaciers, scaled a crevasse, or understood the discipline and conditioning it takes to climb the tallest peaks.
Time to show respect for those who navigate Avalanches, Falling Ice and Altitude Sickness and remove the Mountaineer.
WAKE FOREST DEMON DEACONS
Christians around the world are rejoicing that one of the most important roles in their church has been “demonized” by a college mascot.
Not to mention the name and logo were created in the early morning hours at a Fraternity Party thrown down on campus.
It’s certainly clear that San Diego State University’s decision to retire its Aztec Warrior mascot was long overdue. We hope these schools fall in line and stop offending the Irish, Cowboy, Greek, Mountaineer and Deacon populations.
Editor’s note: this story is 100% satire