Deflate Gate is Not Just About Footballs — It’s About The Future of America

The United States is now facing the worst enemy in the nation’s history. While many people thought the biggest threat to American society and our way of life was a foreign enemy or a government that does not adequately represent its people or their interests, the truth is much graver. I am, of course, talking about the very serious threat of deflated footballs.

I know what you’re thinking? Why does this matter so much? Why are we so obsessed with how much air was in the footballs used during the AFC Championship game? These questions come from the inability to understand that if we do not get to the bottom of this scandal and make sure footballs have the right amount of air put in them, the American way of life as we know it will cease to be. Anarchy will ensue. There will be riots. There will be looting. We cannot let these football-deflating terrorists win.

Are New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick and quarterback Tom Brady hiding something? Or are they just victims in some larger diabolical plot? The Gillette FLEXBALL marketing ploy during Bellichick’s press conference could suggest some kind of corporate conspiracy. How high does this go? What did NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell know and when did he know it? We need to see the emails. Any emails. Just show us emails.

Cable news networks like CNN and Fox News have always had the best interests of their viewers in mind. They know what we need to be informed of and they have determined that this is a serious issue that affects every single warm-blooded, hard-working American. And they are right. We have to know who let the air out of those footballs and why they did it. It threatens the very integrity of the NFL — the nation’s most honorable institution.

And where is Obama? Why isn’t he doing more to deal with this obvious domestic threat? He is too busy playing golf to see the real problem facing America. If President Obama does not address this issue, it will prove that he is weak on the most important domestic issues facing our country today. We need leadership.

Where are the congressional hearings? Where is the condemnation? There is a war going on — a war on football. The American people need to know who is behind this and when these criminals could strike again.

People are scared. Deflated footballs in the NFL may just be the beginning. Next, these perpetrators may put slippery foreign substances on baseballs, covering their tracks so some poor, unsuspecting pitcher will take the blame. We cannot forget the real victims of these crimes. We cannot forget that professional athletes and sports teams would never resort to such tactics. It is unheard of.

What are we going to do to prevent this atrocity from ever happening again? The American people demand action.