I Am Outraged! How the Government Is Destroying Our Privacy

I had to wait a day longer than most people to start being outraged about America’s new wiretapping scandal. I learned about the government’s nefarious deeds yesterday during a five hour layover at the Dallas-Forth Worth Airport. As soon as I was done having my underwear X-rayed and my private parts patted down by TSA agents, I caught the whole sorry thing on an airport TV screen. At first I couldn’t believe it, but there it was: my own government might actually be applying data-mining algorithms to my anonymous cell phone usage data.

Right after the body-cavity search, I did what anybody would do: I got out my iPhone and checked into my Facebook account to see what people were saying. Since I had my geo-locator set, my location came up automatically, so I didn’t have to waste time telling my 608 best friends (and all of their friends) where I was. Right after I posted pictures of the delicious barbecue brisket that I was having for dinner, I was ready to get down to the business of being seriously outraged.

And, let me tell you, I was not the only one. This new scandal seems to have done the impossible: it has united my most liberal and my most conservative friends together in single cause. Since I was travelling, and didn’t have any cute pictures of my wife and kids to post, I could devote all of my Facebook time to expressing my disapproval of the government’s not-so-new Internet espionage program.

Some of my FB friends asked me to join them on a new public web site called “It’s Time for a Violent Revolution in America.” This proved to be very cathartic, as I was able to join with like-minded patriots all over the country to discuss ways that We the People might respond to this new series of attacks on our freedoms. Fortunately, there is a Fox News Store at DFW where I was able to buy an “Overthrow Tyrant Obama” bumper sticker (which I have now displayed prominently on my car).

By then, my battery was about dead. Fortunately, though, I still had my Kindle and my debit card. So I went to Amazon, typed in all of my contact and financial information, download a new book—The Field Guide for People Who Want to Do Really Bad Things to the Government and Not Get Caught—to read on the plane.  I never got to the book, though, as I sat next to a charming young woman with a Russian accent. After comparing notes on the state of our marriages, our children, and the various security flaws in our houses, we spent the rest of the flight talking about how outraged we were.

Our privacy is a precious thing, and we cannot stand by idly while others try to destroy it.