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California: A Roller Coaster Ride for Gay Chickens

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Author: Chad Peace
Created: 12 November, 2008
Updated: 21 November, 2022
2 min read

California's gay chickens were shocked with mix emotionslast Tuesday in California. Early in thenight, gay chickens all over the state were ecstatic as the results came inover Proposition2, which would require that California's farmers allow chickens the rightto a comfortable living space.

Colonel Sanders sat in the back of Proposition 2headquarters, happy that his chickens would grow up with the freedom to be all thechicken they could be, yet worried about the future of his $.99 snacker. He knew people would appreciate the tastinessof a free chicken, but couldn't get over the realistic notion that hiscustomers would never pay to know what they would be missing. Never-the-less, a fellow by the name of ExtraCrispy could care less. In an exclusiveinterview with CAIVP, Extra Crispy said, "I'venever wanted to have more chicks in my life. Imagine the kind of chicks I can produce now."

A happy day for chickens indeed. Or was it?

I couldn't help but notice the baked chicken on the otherside of the room. He was emanating amore somber aura. Being an independentjournalist, I had to get to the bottom of this.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I could see it in his eyes. Hedidn't want to answer the question. Buthe voiced my premonitions for me anyways, "How do you celebrate the freedom tomove, while losing the freedom to love?"

And that's when it hit me. He was a gay chicken, and Proposition8 was about to pass, a proposition that would define marriage as onlybetween a male and a female.

"We live in the freest state in the freest country in theworld. I never thought the day would come that I could do a 360, or stay in acage without having to deal with my neighbors crap. Yet, with more freedom comes theanticipation of more freedom."

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Well, I thought, now that I can move, what else can Ido? I could choose my own direction, myown future, and my own destiny. I wasfull with hope. Hope for the future ofmy dreams. I thought I could livewhatever life I wanted to lead, but I can't."

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"I'm sorry for your loss chicken," I comforted.

"It is ok sir. Lifeis a roller coaster ride. And I'm aseasoned chicken sir. I've been througha lot. I am happy that our chicks cangrow up in a world where they can spread their wings. And I am hopeful, that one day, all chickenswill be able to spread their love."