California: A Roller Coaster Ride for Gay Chickens

California’s gay chickens were shocked with mix emotions
last Tuesday in California. Early in the
night, gay chickens all over the state were ecstatic as the results came in
over Proposition
2
, which would require that California’s farmers allow chickens the right
to a comfortable living space.

Colonel Sanders sat in the back of Proposition 2
headquarters, happy that his chickens would grow up with the freedom to be all the
chicken they could be, yet worried about the future of his $.99 snacker. He knew people would appreciate the tastiness
of a free chicken, but couldn’t get over the realistic notion that his
customers would never pay to know what they would be missing. Never-the-less, a fellow by the name of Extra
Crispy could care less. In an exclusive
interview with CAIVP, Extra Crispy said, “I’ve
never wanted to have more chicks in my life.
Imagine the kind of chicks I can produce now.”

A happy day for chickens indeed. Or was it?

I couldn’t help but notice the baked chicken on the other
side of the room. He was emanating a
more somber aura. Being an independent
journalist, I had to get to the bottom of this.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.
I could see it in his eyes. He
didn’t want to answer the question. But
he voiced my premonitions for me anyways, “How do you celebrate the freedom to
move, while losing the freedom to love?”

And that’s when it hit me.
He was a gay chicken, and Proposition
8
was about to pass, a proposition that would define marriage as only
between a male and a female.

“We live in the freest state in the freest country in the
world. I never thought the day would come that I could do a 360, or stay in a
cage without having to deal with my neighbors crap. Yet, with more freedom comes the
anticipation of more freedom.”

“What do you mean?” I questioned.

“Well, I thought, now that I can move, what else can I
do? I could choose my own direction, my
own future, and my own destiny. I was
full with hope. Hope for the future of
my dreams. I thought I could live
whatever life I wanted to lead, but I can’t.”

“I’m sorry for your loss chicken,” I comforted.

“It is ok sir. Life
is a roller coaster ride. And I’m a
seasoned chicken sir. I’ve been through
a lot. I am happy that our chicks can
grow up in a world where they can spread their wings. And I am hopeful, that one day, all chickens
will be able to spread their love.”